Are you stuck in the talking phase? That can be so frustrating, especially if you long for a serious commitment and see them as your potential partner. The talking phase is a great way to get to know someone you are romantically interested in.
What do people actually talk about in the talking phase?
Interest.
During the talking phase, interests are shared with each other. This interest includes your goals, ambitions, hobbies, likes, dislikes and general personalities. In this phase you would like to know whether you both have a mutual interest. This determines the tendency to move on to the next stage in the conversation phase.
Emotions/romantic phase.
This is usually the next topic in the conversation phase after mutual interest has been confirmed. In this phase you talk about many things, including you specification in a partner, your past relationships, and any stories of your heartbreak. More intimate topics can also be discussed at this stage, such as what it feels like to be in love, depending on the specific context.
Defects.
The next phase after the romance phase is the transparent phase, where you discuss your shortcomings. Now that you know each other's good points, have identified their interests and found that they match yours, the next question is: can you overlook their shortcomings, assuming your friendship/relationship moves to a more advanced stage ( life commitment)). Therefore, this phase is crucial in the talking phase. If you neglect this, it is at your own risk.
The talking phase may seem like the final phase of friendship, after which the romantic relationship begins. However, knowing that people can get stuck in this phase forever, know that this phase is not a guarantee that you will finally become a couple, despite the intimate discussions you may have had.
This is a fact that so many are unwilling to accept; it becomes so worrying when emotions are involved in one party. practicing emotional detachment at this stage it can be difficult. That's why it's necessary to understand the talking phase and figure out why it sticks around or never works as expected, so that you don't end up investing your emotions and energy in the wrong source and regretting it afterwards.
Reasons why you're stuck in the talking phase.
Misinterpreted emotions and interest.
Why a talking stage can be the best way to get acquainted with someone you are interested in and ready to make a lifelong commitment, it is necessary to understand their intentions before living in expectations and investing your emotions.
As a lady: If you have been talking to someone for a long time, and he or she makes no effort to communicate their intentions to you to take the relationship to the next level, this could be a sign that they are not genuine interested in you. And as a human,
If you've stated your intention to a lady you've been on stage with, and she doesn't give you positive feedback, or probably always deflects the discussion when you bring it up, she's apparently not interested.
Maybe they just enjoy your company, or they love that you both share similar interests and goals but aren't attracted to you. That's why there were a lot of people friend zoned why they expected to embark on a romantic journey with someone they find attractive.
Women often find themselves on the receiving end of this scenario, due to their emotional state. Women have this weak spot, which easily wins their hearts by every little gesture, hence the reason they fall in love easily. Even without any intention during the conversation, most people will already start fantasizing about a romantic trip. Unlike men, who can feel comfortable with your atmosphere and company without any obligation.
Being too spontaneous and progressive.
Another obvious reason why you get stuck in the talking phase is the fact that you are too spontaneous.
You want everything to happen so quickly and suddenly. You are too curious to know much about them, you are too progressive and move in a faster lane even if they gradually want to talk about it. You don't know much about it yet, but you're already talking about romance and emotion. Such despair can be so frightening and a Big turn-off even to someone who is romantically interested in you. It's more attractive if you're both moving at the same pace and gear.
You are not honest.
You may be stuck in the talking phase if they discover that you are not an honest person. No matter how desperate a person is to have you in his life, once he finds any sign of deceit and lies in you, he will easily lose interest.
Transparency brings out the spark in a relationship. And so you can assume that since you are not dating yet, it is impossible to detect the lies of yours.
However, it is entirely possible to detect lies from someone you are not dating but are in conversation with. One of the easiest ways to do that is to always take note of your discussion and the words they say.
People who lie hardly remember what they said earlier in an argument because they are out to achieve a temporary goal.
Saying one thing today and another tomorrow will cause them to lose interest in taking the relationship to the next stage. The purpose of an interview phase is to get to know you better, assuming they want a serious commitment with you. You.
You are dealing with a player.
There are guys who may not really be interested in you, but only approach you with the intention of making you fall helplessly in love with them so that their ego can be inflated, especially if you played hard to get initially. They just want to see what you become obsessed with them, and desperately long to have them.
Such guys understand that women easily fall in love by what they hear, so they devise a strategy to make them succumb to their tactics through you Occasional mixed signal. They make sure to give you maximum attention, calling you at odd hours and talking to you for long periods of time, and the more you interact with them, the more you become emotionally attached. But unfortunately it ends there.
They have no intention of taking it to the next level. They will continue to manipulate you until you get tired and stop.
You are clingy and possessive.
Another reason why you may be stuck in the talking phase is because you are too clingy and possessive.
Imagine being close to someone who cannot give you a breather despite the attention you give him or her, you call him or her at a certain time, while you are probably free, you talk to him or her for a long time, but every time if you leave the conversation with they still want to contact you even if you are busy at work, they want to blow up your phone with incessant calls and messages.
You're not dating them yet, you're still in the talking phase, but they always want to know where you are, who you're with and what you're doing. Any association with other friends of the opposite sex is usually followed by signs of jealousy, and interrogations.
Such clingy behavior can lead to a decrease in interest. So how can you get out of this talking phase? What steps are needed or factors to avoid to increase the possibility of a relationship/friendship moving to the next stage?
How do you get over the talking phase?
Guide your emotions/heart.
As I explained earlier, misinterpreted emotions/interest is one of the reasons why you get stuck in the talking phase. To get over this, don't get emotionally involved with someone you're not already in a relationship with. Avoid too many expectations or the assumption that the friendship will turn into a romantic journey. If you become attached to them by talking to them regularly, consider keeping the speed at which you communicate with them as low as possible so that you don't jeopardize your mental health if you realize they are not interested in a romantic trip .
If they haven't made their intentions known to you, don't assume until they have.
Flow with their pace.
If you don't want to get stuck in the talking phase or get frustrated, don't act too desperate and don't rush. Go with their pace until the connection is built naturally. Avoid asking questions that show you are too eager. It has to be a mutual concept.
If the discussion is still based on interests and goals, stick with that and don't rush into romantic topics just yet.
Be real.
To avoid getting stuck in the talking phase, always be yourself, don't lie about your personality. Remember that the main purpose of a talking phase is to see if the relationship can be moved to the next phase. As you talk about each other's interests and share your goals, they gradually study you to make sure your character matches theirs and can overlook your shortcomings. Lying to impress them will be the biggest mistake you can make. Instead of impressing them, it will probably turn them off.
Being yourself during this phase will give you all the clarity you need about the relationship and its future.
Avoid sensitive topics.
Avoid sensitive topics if you don't want to get stuck in trouble talking phase
What do I mean by sensitive topics? Deep personal topics related to your past, be transparent but not too loose. Don't tell them so much about yourself, especially if they never asked. Keep a secret to yourself until the relationship is over certain.
While being transparent is good, you should also keep in mind that it takes an emotionally mature heart to deal with some sensitive facts. Be careful and don't set them off with your past.
Give them space.
If you're stalking during the talking phase, it could be a result of your clinginess. Haven't you heard that fame breeds contempt, that being less available and appearing unpredictable will make you attractive. With such a trait you live in a mystery that they would like to unravel. You kindle the desire to be chased by them; it's that curiosity that drives them to take quick action by declaring their intention or accepting yours.
Sometimes you have to deliberately miss their calls and then call them back. Don't always be in a rush to answer when they call. No matter how consistently they communicate with you, resist the temptation to whine when you notice their level of communication decreasing.
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