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Sexual attraction in marriage is very crucial and remains one of the important qualities that must be present when considering a life partner, as the importance of sex in marriage cannot be overemphasized. It is absence that contributes to one of the Top reasons for divorce.
It is very normal to see someone who suits you. They have all the qualities you need in a partner; their character is a replica of your idea of marriage, but unfortunately you are not only attracted to them sexually and no matter how you try, it doesn’t work. It would be disastrous to marry such a person, as this is the main cause of cheating in marriage.
To sustain a marriage and ensure its longevity, couples must connect physically, emotionally, intellectually, and sexually.
While Tolerance will ensure that there is mutual understanding, sexual attraction will ensure that there is fidelity in marriage. And it creates intimate bonds just as much when other factors are present.
Despite the importance of sexual attraction in marriage and why prospective couples should consider one of the essential qualities before settling down, it is not uncommon to realize that couples who had sexual attraction in the initial stages of the relationship/marriage may lose it sometime in their married years. It is not impossible that a marriage with the best track record of strong emotional and sexual connection will lose its spark. It happens all the time, but the good news is that there is a solution: it doesn’t mean the end of a marriage.
Please note: Losing sexual attraction in marriage is not the same as not being in love anymore. There is a solution for this. The first is to find out the reason behind the challenge. Knowing the reasons makes it a lot easier to come up with solutions.
So why do couples lose their sexual connections?
1. They allow familiarity to control their feelings.
The first year of your marriage was filled with excitement and great euphoria that you cannot fathom. There were so many connections that you couldn’t have enough of each other.
But gradually, you notice that this connection began to deteriorate; there was no quarrel or misunderstanding.
You never fought or argued over a trivial matter, and even if you did, you tried to resolve it amicably. So what’s the problem anyway? Familiarity. Once that first phase of excitement, called the honeymoon phase, is over, you gradually move into the next phase, known as the adaptation phase. This is where the familiarity sets in, you start to adapt to each other’s lifestyle, and the excitement and euphoria naturally and slowly subside.
But the good news is that this is normal. Many couples have similar experiences to share. Some claim that at some point in their marriage, they no longer see each other as lovers but as brothers and sisters.
Waking up every day and having the same person next to you, doing the same routine with him or her, can be boring. It applies not only to marriage but to every aspect of life in general. Hence the slogan. “Variety is the spice of life.”
The best way to meet the challenge of familiarity is to bring exciting adventures into your marriage. Introduce plenty of foreplay before intimacy, change your intimacy styles, and make your marriage lively and not military territory by playing together and playing hide and seek. Take a leave of absence from work and have fun; go on vacation. These types of activities will leave you wanting more in your marriage.
Financial challenges can be so overwhelming in marriage that it will have a negative effect on the couple’s sexual life.
Sometimes, when a man is surrounded with so many responsibilities but few resources to take care of them, he will begin to lose focus, suppressing sexual hormones and leading to loss of sexual interest. A man who thinks a lot will hardly get an erection. This is psychological; this is because sex is an activity that has to do with our mentality. It is usually caused by a stable mind.
In the same way, a woman whose peace in marriage has been disturbed by an adulterous husband, an abusive husband or an uncaring husband will lose sexual connection for him because to be sexually connected to someone, you must have a stable mind, especially when she can offer you that.

When couples are not on good terms with each other, they will find it difficult to connect emotionally, which will also affect their sexual life.
That is why it is very important to resolve problems amicably before intimacy. Find out the cause of the problem, talk about it, and communicate with each other until you find the cause of the problem and solve it.
Unfortunately, most people make the mistake of assuming that sex is an antidote to solving marital problems, but this is wrong. If you are not on good terms with each other and you try to make up for it with sex, you will end up just sexually satisfying without any sexual chemistry or emotional connection. Having sex without love in marriage is synonymous with having sex as strangers.
While sex makes you reach orgasm, making love gives you both satisfaction and fulfillment and strengthens your bond.
Third-party interference is one of the main factors that can cause couples to lose their sexual attraction in marriage.
Always using a third party to resolve issues with you and your partner is an unhealthy habit that can destroy your bond. Every time you invite a third party without first communicating about the matter, you are gradually sowing a seed of discord, which indicates a lack of trust in your marriage, and this will have a great negative effect on your sexual life.
Try to resolve your differences. A trusted third party should only be sought if other options have failed.
5. Ignoring your partner’s love language.
I’ve heard so many women complain about not having enough foreplay during intimacy. Some men and women have a habit of thinking and focusing only on themselves during intimacy. They don’t care about knowing what turns their partner on. Once they reach the climax, nothing else matters. This is wrong and can cause your partner to disconnect from you.
Couples need to understand what works for both of them during intimacy. Knowing and practicing this will always make their sexual life exciting.
Sounds weird, right? How can regular intimacy make the list? When have we been told that sexual attraction in marriage is essential to its sustainability and growth? While sex is important in marriage, moderation is the spice of all aspects of life, including marriage.
The idea is that couples who do nothing but have sex after their daily activities will develop boredom over time. It can be so tiring and boring to keep up one routine all the time. You need to spice up your marriage with the things you once did during the talking and making love phase.
Take a break from the intimacy and add some adventures to your marriage. Go on vacation, go out for dinner, and celebrate your birthdays during. More of these activities will revitalize your love and sexual life, and this will awaken your desire for intimacy.
You were once the hottest and most beautiful girl that your man couldn’t resist. What has suddenly changed? You finally married them and found that you don’t have to make yourself attractive anymore because they have become yours.
You were once that charming prince who attracted the attention of every lady; what has suddenly changed? You got married and felt it was no longer necessary to keep up with the atmosphere that once captured their attention.
This is so wrong. You need to understand that your partner still has feelings, despite the fact that he or she is married to you. It is possible that you are attracted to random people, especially if they lose their attraction to you due to self-neglect.
This is one of the reasons why people lose sexual attraction in marriage, leading to infidelity. You don’t have to look unkempt once you get married. Self-care will always make you irresistible to your partner, no matter how long you have been in a marriage together. And that ensures that the spark continues to burn, so that you can never lose attraction for each other again.
Sexual attraction in marriage can only be possible if there is sexual compatibility between expectant couples. As I explained earlier, physical attributes alone do not guarantee that someone meets your specifications. Your sexual fantasies should also align, just like your personal values. Even in the absence of similar sexual fantasies, there must be a willingness on the part of one or both parties to adapt to each other.
You really don’t have to practice sex before marriage before discovering their fantasies; you can always talk to each other about your sexual life during courtship, even if you are both practicing celibacy. If you have a high libido, it is wise to discuss this with your partner before marrying him or her. This way, one person does not become stressed by sexual demands while the other feels dissatisfied. This way, your sexual life will not be affected.
Mental stress can be an asset for couples and affect their sexual life if not resolved.
It is rare for couples to function sexually and keep up the spark when one or both are mentally stressed due to workplace stress, financial setbacks or job loss. It takes a stable mind to be sexually connected. And so mental stress can disrupt that. If your partner is suffering from mental stress, the best thing you can do at this time is to understand his or her plight and empathize with him or her. Don’t nag or fight him or her for neglecting your emotional needs.
How you handle the situation will determine how quickly or longer it takes for them to bounce back. Being an understanding husband during this time is very therapeutic.
If you both are stressed at work, you need to communicate mutually to know the best time when both of you can plan your love activities.
Losing sexual attraction in marriage is easier when one or both couples experience depression. Try to identify the main cause of your partner’s depression. If that is out of your control, you can recommend or encourage him or her to see a therapist. This can help their healing be faster, Avoid putting pressure on them; just be patient until they bounce back.
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