The Not-To-Do List that will Change your Dating Life

Think about this for a moment: What if, when it comes to dating, what you not matter more than anything else?

Let’s say you want to get in shape and adopt a healthier lifestyle.

To achieve this you don’t just have to train regularly (To do list)you should also eliminate junk food from your diet (Not to do list).

Now apply the same principle to dating.

To find your ideal partner, you not only need to be clear about what you are looking for in a relationship (To do list) but also cut off toxic patterns that keep you from finding real love (Not to do list).

Here are three “Don’ts” that will change the way you date and remove the blocks that keep you from creating healthy love.

1. Don’t turn your dating life into a soap opera for your friends

“You involve 4378 people and their neighbors in your private life and then wonder why it goes wrong” – Samy Dindane

Remember that time you went on your first real date in 11th grade and it became national news among your circle of friends?

We all fondly reminisce about the endless hours spent “Oooo..Tell me everything” followed by a minute-by-second dissection of your date.

That’s cute.

For a 16 year old.

But you’re not 16 anymore – so why do you still let your friends use your dating stories as entertainment?

We all have a few friends in our lives who want to know everything that’s going on in our dating lives so they can project, express their opinions and assess your potential partners and choices.

They may even be given a reason to feel superior because they “know better” just because they are married. But what might have worked for them won’t necessarily work for you.

Your life is not a soap opera, so stop broadcasting it to people who can use it for gossip and entertainment.

This doesn’t mean you can never share your opinion or ask for advice. Just be aware of when you’re leaking energy and making yourself the butt of the joke.
Keep strong boundaries and only share with people you trust.

2. Don’t have a ‘no’ mentality

I have coached hundreds of singles who emphasize that they are ready for a real relationship – but their actions speak otherwise.

These are the people who go on a lot of first dates, but continue to focus on the imperfections of the person in front of them.

They are the ones who say they want a relationship but turn down dates from friends, people outside their ‘type’ and anyone who doesn’t fit their romanticized idea of ​​’The One’.

But here’s the hard truth: “You Had Me at Hello” doesn’t exist in real life, especially when it comes to relationships. It’s magical thinking and it’s been distorting your reality ever since Cinderella Unpleasant Love actually Unpleasant Bridgerton.

Creating a checklist of the superficial qualities (ahem, height, money, profession, etc.) comes from a instead of ego, and when you decide to vigorously adhere to this dating list, you’re making judgments about potential partners before you take the time to get to know them.

While you should not compromise when it comes to treating with respect, reciprocity and kindness, you should definitely forego what is called: ‘current bias’. This refers to the tendency to optimize for qualities that matter in the short term, but don’t really matter in the longer term.

The first step to changing a “no mentality” is saying “yes” to dates with people outside your typical type. It prevents you from prematurely judging and discarding people who could actually be a good fit for you!

And it opens up the opportunity for you to connect with someone based on their character and how well they treat you.

3. Don’t expect love to just fall into your lap

This one is for the seasoned romantic in all of us. Yes, you want the epic and the cute to come together, but waiting for love to strike spontaneously is not a powerful approach to love. It’s a passive, wait-it-happens-to-me approach (if you can call it an approach at all).

It sounds simple, but the more people you meet, the more opportunities you have to access potential partners. You want to make sure you diversify the ways you meet people as well.

Against dating apps? Did you know that 20% of current committed relationships started online?

Only use dating apps? Time to diversify. According to Bustle, about 39% of people meet their partner through friends.

Ask friends to put you in touch with new people, say yes to invitations, sign up for dance classes or a workshop to learn a new hobby, go to a cafe alone and strike up a conversation with a stranger…. Chances are you haven’t exhausted the different options for meeting people yet.

Do you want to learn how to build a healthy relationship?

Join my Dating mastery program in which I guide you to create healthy love.