Am I in love with my best friend? What should I do?

James and I have been best friends for years. We always have the best time together, and I feel like I can trust him with everything. We’ve both dated other people, and things between us have been strictly platonic in the past. But suddenly, I notice that I feel more than before. It irritates me when he goes on dates, and I even think about what it would be like to kiss him. If this is what it feels like to fall for someone,? I’ve always loved him, but now I’m wondering if I’m actually ‘in love’ with him. I’m not sure how he feels, and I don’t know what to do. Should I tell my best friend that I like him?? I don’t want him to feel awkward or like we can’t be friends anymore. Because we’re so close, we’ve always been super affectionate, so now it’s hard for me to tell if he feels more. Does my best friend like me too? I’m so confused!

Answer:

Gevoelens opvangen voor je beste vriend kan een opwindende en zenuwslopende ervaring zijn. It is very important that you first understand your feelings as clearly as possible.

1. Take some time to think about how you feel about him. They seem to already have romantic feelings involved. Try to understand the depth of these feelings and whether your feelings are for someone else who may be on the run.

2. Friendship is a gateway to love. Often, friendship becomes a strong foundation for continuing a romantic relationship in a healthy way. Together with the closeness, trust, and shared interests that come with being best friends with someone, it is very easy to fall in love. That said, what you are experiencing is completely normal and valid. Remember to continue to be kind to yourself during this time.

3. Once you know more or less how you feel, observe his behavior toward you as objectively as possible. Does it seem like he harbors similar romantic feelings toward you? Is there anything he’s been doing differently lately, etc.?

4. De beslissing om wel of niet te bekennen ligt volledig in jouw handen. Consider:

• If you think confessing to him would upset him and make you both uncomfortable, hold off.
• Het kan moeilijk zijn om die gevoelens voor jezelf te houden. Is that something you can do and want to do?
• Try taking some space away to see how you are feeling and give you better mental clarity
• Don’t make impulsive decisions. It’s important to slow down and consider your feelings and the dynamics of your friendship.

5. If you choose confess your feelings, know that there is a possibility that you may be rejected. It would be best if you could leave your expectations at the door so that your friend doesn’t feel pressured either. This confession is more for you than for him. I understand this is easier said than done, so take the time to build this acceptance.

6. Give yourself some time to collect your thoughts after you confess. This can be a stressful time for you, so make sure you practice self-care and take good care of yourself.

7. Seek support from your other friends. It helps not to go through difficult times alone.

8. Je bekentenis zal je vriendschap veranderen, op een manier die je leuk vindt of op een manier die je niet leuk vindt. It can be difficult to get used to this change, but if you manage to accept it, your friendship can continue with more depth and confidence than before

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