4 Questions To Consider Before Moving In Together

Living together is not an easy task! It takes a lot of thought and discussion throughout the process to feel comfortable and confident about the decision to merge your life with your partner’s in such an intimate way. After all, your home should be your safe place, the oasis where you can go after long days at the office or stressful days in this uncomfortable climate we find ourselves in. If you’re considering moving in together, it’s important to dive into the big conversations. That will alleviate the underlying concerns.

What does your future look like?

If you’re ready to take this big step, chances are you’re thinking about your long-term commitment to your partner. Yet it is important to ask the big questions about your feelings towards children and marriage, your goals and dreams, and whether you feel grounded where you are now or whether you want to move somewhere else in the future. These types of questions help determine the amount of investment you would like to make in the relationship. Aligning your goals with those of your partner can create a stronger bond between the two of you and lead you down the path of a shared journey.

What does your communication look like?

It is important to think about how you communicate with each other. How do you deal with a disagreement? Do you have to read a lot of lines to get the full picture? For couples who struggle with this aspect of their relationship, living together can increase disagreements that would normally lie dormant or seem less important. Whether your communication needs some work or has always been in top shape, you may benefit from relationship therapy.

Even couples who communicate well with each other may seek couples therapy as a way to strengthen their strong bond. Measuring willingness to try counseling with your partner can also provide more perspective on the relationship and its ability to last. If you are willing to work on the relationship and your partner is not, or vice versa, this can paint a clearer picture of whether the relationship can last.

What do your finances look like?

Even in the initial phase, we talk about living together, It’s important to talk about finances. Everyone handles their money differently. You may be good at budgeting, saving money, and managing your debt, but your partner may be living paycheck to paycheck, really struggling to keep up with their checking account, and have debts that they have not paid up in years. Perhaps the situation is reversed and you are suffering in your financial well-being while your partner is confident in their financial literacy and life. Not everyone is on the same journey to financial independence, so it’s important to be completely honest with each other about your situation.

If you are thinking about buying a house together, it is very important to be honest with each other about finances. Your credit score, debts, and income are all factors that determine whether or not you can get an upfront mortgage, let alone purchase a home. If debt seems to be the biggest obstacle, it may be wise for the partner with outstanding debt to consolidate them through a personal loan. While this may mean you have to delay purchasing a home a little longer, you will be in a better position to achieve your goals.

What does your lifestyle look like?

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in a relationship—it could be five years or five months—how you behave at home is different when you live alone than when you live with your partner. Everyone has little quirks that go unnoticed until they start living with someone. You could be a closeted slob or a compulsive neat freak. It is important to introduce your partner to those parts of yourself as well. Understanding your potential roommate can help you both create a nice flow of household responsibility. By playing to each other’s strengths, you can determine details such as who will do the laundry, take out the trash, or cook dinner.

Your lifestyle also includes your style in general. Creating a home where you can both relax and enjoy yourself is crucial to making the transition last. There are different challenges and conversations you may face depending on your moving situation. If you move in with your partner or they move in with you, it can be difficult to find the balance between you and your partner’s style. On the other hand, if you’re moving into a completely new space together, it will probably be easier to have an even representation of each of your styles. If possible, create spaces in your home that each partner can call their own.

If you and your partner are considering moving in together, don’t avoid discussing the answers to these four questions. More than likely, other important questions will also arise, leading to a more fruitful and productive dialogue. Your future self will thank you for taking the time to discuss the matter carefully before taking such a big step forward.