Knowing how to control your emotions will save you a lot, especially from heartbreak.
Our bodies release oxytocin, the hormone commonly known as ‘love hormone’, which causes the excitement and euphoria that often arises when we fall in love.
The obsessed feelings, butterflies in the stomach and impulsive reactions in relationships are strongly influenced by these hormones.
This explains why you often find yourself doing strange things when you are in love, things you never thought you would do, actions you never thought you would perform to a standard.
Sometimes it feels like you’re drunk. You remembered promising yourself that you wouldn’t beg for love, you remembered promising yourself that no man or woman would fool you. But then, to your surprise, you find yourself doing the opposite of all this.
After your first heartbreak, you vowed never to give your heart to anyone again. You vowed never to fall in love again, but to your greatest surprise, love knocked at your door and you couldn’t resist, despite your announcements.
Unfortunately, this is the experience of so many in the dating world. Emotions are like reflex actions, the thought of acting on them occurs spontaneously, but the good news is that unlike reflex actions, it can be controlled, if determined.
Reasons why you need to master your emotions when you are in love.
1.Emotions are unrealistic feelings.
In a realistic world, a relationship is not meant to take away from other aspects of your life; it is just one aspect intended to be explored, among other aspects. But do you notice that when you allow your emotions to take charge of your life, you begin to see your partner as the only means of survival. You want them around you 24/7.
You cannot understand their need for it room because you always interpret it as a sign of loss of interest. Even with their busy schedules, you desperately want their attention, and they can’t give it to you, call it cheating.
This type of emotion can sour a loving relationship, as one person already feels suffocated by the other’s unrealistic needs. That’s why you need to keep your emotions in check, no matter how deeply you are in love. Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Be sensitive and consider their own personal needs so you don’t blow everything out of proportion.
2. Emotions can lead to obsession..
Love is a wonderful feeling. Those butterflies that float around your stomach when you’re in love are completely normal. However, uncontrolled emotions can always lead to obsession why it’s okay to love someone, it’s not okay to get so attached to them that you think about doing strange things if the relationship doesn’t end as expected.
The thought of your partner may cross your mind from time to time. This is completely normal, but it is unhealthy if their thoughts occupy your mind 24/7, interfering with other activities in your life. And this is when the obsession strikes.
People who commit suicide due to rejected love are so obsessed in such a relationship. People who threatened to harm their partner if he broke his heart are just as obsessed. Such an obsession can ruin a person’s life, which is why it is necessary to master your emotions when you are in love. Don’t get so attached to the point where it becomes a matter of do or die. Always remember that they are human, and regardless of their promises and assurances to you, they will still disappoint.
3. Emotions can make you a slave to your thoughts.
Do you remember that project you were planning to do? Do you remember the skill you wanted to learn? What about that class you promised you would join others to equip your mind and intellect. Why don’t you think about them anymore? or make plans for them? Maybe you’ve fallen in love, and every time you start thinking about important things, nothing else concerns you but that person you’re in love with. You sleep away with their thoughts in your head and wake up with their thoughts just the same.
Your intellectual life is lagging behind because you have allowed an individual to monopolize your mind. This is unhealthy, such emotions will always lead to unproductiveness in one’s life.
4. Emotions can lead to resentment.
One of the reasons why you need to control your emotions is the fact that you cannot read people’s minds. You can’t always find the answers to various questions in your head, such as: why didn’t he call? Why is he or she always in contact with someone else, why haven’t they asked to see me? Am I a priority in their lives? There is absolutely nothing wrong with such questions as it helps you know your position in a relationship.
However, it becomes abnormal if you have to constantly worry about it even though it may not be necessary. This can lead to resentment. You will find yourself hating your partner because of your own insecurities. And the worst part is that they may not even be aware that their action seems to be hurting you, especially since you read so much meaning into things that you shouldn’t read meaning into.
5. It can affect your mental health.
If you don’t control your emotions, your mental health will always be in a devastating state. That nostalgic feeling of wanting your relationship to continue as it was during the honeymoon phase.
Then they were so interested in you that you thought you were going to get married the next day, and when you realize that things started to take a different shape, instead of adapting to reality, you start to feel devastated to feel. A relationship is not always as perfect as you see in the novella. Coming to this term can help you adjust your feelings and save you a lot of heartache. So you don’t come across as needy because if these needs are not met, it will definitely affect your mental health.
Too high expectations can pose a risk to one’s sanity. You want to contact your partner at a certain time, you want to be with your partner often, and the more he or she refuses, the more helpless and devastated you feel. All the more reason why you need to keep your emotions in check for your mental health.
Controlling your emotions may not be as easy as it’s always made out to be, especially when you’re madly in love, but it’s possible and just as doable. Below are some steps to guide you.
How to control your emotions.
1. Guide your thoughts.
The Bible urged us to do this “Lead our hearts with all diligence, for from them arise the questions of life.” The heart literaWe control all activities we undertake. Some actions may be reflexive, but it is our duty to control everything we harbor in our thoughts. There’s nothing wrong with thinking about someone you love.
These types of thoughts can arise involuntarily at any time, but they should not become a habit. It is not healthy to always have someone on your mind, it can be natural, but it is your duty to preoccupy your mind with something more productive. Don’t let the thought of anyone monopolize your heart so you don’t have to get unnecessarily paranoid when they don’t meet your emotional needs or become irritated by your emotions.
2. Socialize with
others.
One of the best ways to manage your emotions when you’re in love is to improve your social life. Many people make the mistake that their entire life and happiness revolves around a certain person, and when they don’t hear from this person, they become depressed or worry unnecessarily. They felt bored whenever this person was not available to give them attention.
Connecting with others platonically does not mean cheating on your partner, but this will help you identify other sources of happiness besides your relationship.
3. Practice self-pleasure and time for yourself.
To control your emotions, learn to have fun, enjoy your solitude, have a personal time to do what you love most, it can be a hobby, see an exciting movie or visit an interesting place , this will help you deal with your emotions. the absence of their partner, and not feeling lonely or bored when they are unavailable.
It also creates a sense of confidence, which is an attractive quality for an individual.
Such a trait will make them miss you more and arouse the desire to catch up with you, because they see that you are not dependent on them for your own happiness.
4. Immerse yourself in your mind.
Don’t become so overwhelmed by your relationship that you neglect other important aspects of your life. Learn how How to balance your love life and goals. It will help you minimize the speed at which you express your emotions. Since you’re so busy with work, you might not really have time to keep track of how many times your partner has called or even called you.
5. setting personal boundaries.
Setting boundaries is one of the practical ways to control your emotions when you are in love.
These boundaries include limiting yourself from doing certain things that involve your partners and not calling or expecting their calls at a certain time, especially at odd hours when they are busy working. With these boundaries you might as well avoid the neediness that has the tendency to ruin a beautiful relationship.
Make sure you are not too emotionally attached.
These seem to be the hardest of all, so what’s wrong with being attached to someone if you love them very much? This attachment is very natural and often comes from the bond created by both parties while doing many things together.
Being too attached has its own disadvantages; it will make you lose your mind once your partner starts distancing themselves from you. This is why we previously talked about the need to enjoy your own company so that you are not dependent on another for your happiness and fulfillment.
The best way to avoid becoming so attached is to take it slow while you’re still in the early stages of your relationship. Don’t be pushy, get to know their level of commitment and emotions, make sure it matches yours before expressing yours. Minimize the speed at which you contact them so that you don’t get so used to communicating with them every now and then.
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