The Rise of Happy, Single Women: A reason why men need to upgrade their relationship skills

In an interesting paradox, heterosexual single men are lonelier than ever, and despite being heterosexual, single women are happier than their male counterparts.

Women no longer settle down.

Psychologist Greg Matos caused a stir on social media last month when he published an article about the rise of single, lonely men and a major contributing factor is women’s higher dating standards. Some findings in Dr.’s stocks Matos:

• Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are declining as relationship standards rise.

• Younger and middle-aged men are the most lonely they have been for generations

While most welcomed the idea of ​​women finally advocating for equitable relationships, it was a difficult pill to swallow for a selection of men. Some dissatisfied comments about my Youtube video sheds some light on the sentiment:

“Women are delusional in their standards.”

“Women, enjoy your Crazy Cat Lady starter kits.”

‘Women like her still complain…’

Many men are triggered by the idea that women are raising their standards and no longer tolerating poor communication skills and emotional unavailability. The suggestion that men put in the work to improve their relationship skills? Crazy! Misleading!

I’m surprised to see so many guys getting so defensive (don’t shoot the messenger either; we share the data) because I’ve had hate comments on my Tick ​​Tock And Instagram also.

Women don’t demand that men make more money or look better; they ask men to improve their relationship skills. This is actually great news, because unlike superficial things like appearance, height and wealth, relationship skills can be learned and developed. The best part is that it’s free!

If you’re a man who wants a shot at real companionship, it’s going to take some investment in your relationship skills. Here’s a communication framework to help you practice and develop your EQ skills!

Practice constructive communication

Do you notice your conversations escalating in intensity? Do you find yourself becoming defensive or passive-aggressive? Try the method of Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

Developed by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., NVC is a framework that helps you communicate with empathy and connection, moving the conversation forward instead of repeating in circles.

It uses a four-stage observation process, identifying feelings, identifying needs and making a clear request.

1. Observe the facts without judgment. State the facts, not your interpretations or assumptions. For example My Saturday event started at 2:00 PM and I sent you two reminders to arrive on time.

2. Describe how you feel using “I” language. For example, I felt sad when you didn’t arrive on time, especially because that was an important event for me.

3. Think about the unmet need. Feelings such as anger and sadness reveal unmet needs, such as love, acceptance, connection, etc.

4. Make a clear request. Express a specific, actionable request. You prefer and make no demands. Don’t be vague. Instead of “Be more thoughtful!” you can say, “Would you be open to attending the event together on Thursday so we can ensure we arrive 15 minutes early?”

There are a whole range of tools you can learn to develop your relationship skills. There’s no need to be ashamed of where you’re starting. It’s not like they taught us this in school. We learned how to dissect a frog before learning how to get in touch with our emotions, express them, and use healthy coping mechanisms.

Developing these skills is not only for the benefit of women; it is also for yourself. You’ll discover a ripple effect in all your relationships, from professional, platonic to romantic. There is no doubt that you can do this if you choose to put in the effort.

The question is: will you take up the challenge?