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As I approach my thirtieth birthday, I’ve taken some time to reflect on how much has changed in my life over the past decade. During my twenties I made so many mistakes, hurt people I loved, and behaved in ways I can’t say I’m proud of. But no matter how much I messed up, I wouldn’t do it take back all my mistakesas they taught me lessons and shaped the person I have become today.
A good friend of mine told me, “Your twenties are for fucking. You are not acting in accordance with your values because you are still establishing them.” His words ring true. Although I think I have a good handle on my moral compass and fundamental values, I am still shaping my character to this day and will probably continue to do so for the rest of my life.
It is human to make mistakes. Some mistakes are seen by others and bring more shame, others are private and bring more guilt. Some hurt others, and some end up hurting only you. In a life where we often learn through trial and error, avoiding mistakes is not very realistic. However, making different choices next time to avoid making the same mistake is entirely up to you.
Where we differ as humans are the choices we make after we falter. I separate the difference into two different camps. There are people who use regret and remorse as a catalyst to grow and change their ways to become better people. The consequences of their mistake serve as a reminder to do things differently to avoid repeating the same situation. Often we need these experiences to teach us the life lessons that ultimately shape our character.
Then there are people who are ashamed of their shame, and after a period of self-loathing and guilt, they go back to the exact same way of thinking and behaving. Instead of the mistake becoming a lesson, it becomes just another cyclical loop in habits.
How do you respond when you make mistakes? If your mistake leaves a trail of pain and destruction in the lives of others, do you make amends and apologize with action and empathy? Or are the people who suffer the consequences of your mistake merely victims of your contempt?
What builds character is not avoiding mistakes; it is the way you choose to think and act afterwards. Use your mistakes as opportunities to grow. And hopefully you can ‘make better mistakes tomorrow’.
I want to share a video. It’s about a conversation from a dear friend and former colleague of mine, who discusses some of the lessons he learned after making a big mistake in his life. I respect the way he chose to change his life afterward – by using his experience to help him grow. Thanks for inspiring me Chris.
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#Mistakes #Break