To overcome possessive and clingy behavior, you must first recognize that this is a A warning sign in a relationship.
Possessiveness may sound like a healthy habit. After all, you are trying to protect what you cherish the most. Imagine this scenario of obtaining a very special item, something you have always wanted, or a scenario of getting a job, contract or opportunity that you have been looking for for a long time, wouldn’t you want to protect it at all costs? To avoid losing it. Considering how difficult it was to achieve.
This mindset is also similar to people who are in love. They want to protect their loved ones at all costs because they are afraid of losing them. While this sounds good and reasonable, it does not guarantee the longevity of the relationship.
Why doesn't it guarantee success in a relationship?
This is because no matter how protective and affectionate you are, you simply cannot control a mature adult. The decision to stay in the relationship or leave is entirely up to them, and no matter what you do, it will not change anything.
To overcome possessiveness and clinginess, we need to identify some of the negative effects of these habits and how they can threaten a healthy relationship.
Consequences of possessive and clingy habits.
IT leads to obsession.
One of the main causes of Obsession is a clingy and possessive habit.
If you are clingy, want to be with your partner 24/7, and don’t give him/her enough space to breathe, then over time these habits become an obsession. It comes to a point where you consider them as the air you breathe, and when you can’t be with them anymore, aggression arises, and this aggression can turn into violence. This is the peak of obsession. A stage where obsessed people turn into aggressive, violent individuals because their love is not reciprocated the way they want. Some may even end up ending the life of their partner.
A classic case of the saying “if I can’t have you, no one else will.” This statement is one of the typical signs of obsession, it is usually triggered by too much attachment, overprotection and clingy behavior.
it invites emotional blackmail.
Often, people with clingy and possessive behavior tend to emotionally blackmail their partners. In an attempt to get a special form of attention, they become self-centered and insensitive to their partner’s needs. The example given earlier about trying to protect a special item that you desire is a selfish intention when applied to people. You cannot possibly compare inanimate objects to people because protecting an item means that you have complete control over it. When you try to control someone, it shows that you do not value them, but that it is all about “you.”
it decreases your self-esteem and self-confidence.
Possessive and winding habit can lower your self-esteem and confidence. When you are possessive and clingy, you are indirectly telling your partner that your life revolves around him/her, because you probably have enough time on your hands.
Think back to the time when they were all over you, when they couldn't get enough of you, when they had to complain that you barely paid them any attention.
But now they avoid you like a plaque, they make excuses to avoid you, the reason is simple, the more you are available, the less you are likely to be appreciated, because absence makes the heart grow fonder. They were all focused on you then, because you hardly give them any attention, hence the eagerness to push more.
The desire and constant longing to be with you has disappeared, because your availability and constant presence has replaced the longing.
Psychologically, people crave what they can’t easily get, so it’s often said that unavailability creates desirability. Get to work so that you’re not always predictable, no matter where your emotions lead you, learn to control them. This will trigger their desire for you and increase your self-esteem.
it disturbs your peace.
Being overly possessive and clingy often leads to insecurity, which can affect your peace of mind. Always distrusting your partner, monitoring their calling list, showing up at places where you think they are likely to be, is detrimental to your peace of mind. Such a habit can be stressful and can lead to unproductiveness, because the time you spend on all these things could have been used to achieve something worthwhile.
it makes you vulnerable.
Being too possessive and clingy can leave you in your most vulnerable places. toxic relationshipMost people find it difficult to break off a particular relationship, not because the relationship adds any value to their lives, but because they have become so attached to it that they are vulnerable to pain and heartbreak.
How can you overcome possessive and clingy behavior?
Subtle Ways to Overcome Possessiveness and Clinginess.
Accept the love of others.
One of the most common reasons people are overly possessive and clingy is because they seem to miss the emotional connection and genuine love of friends and family.
Some have never experienced true love, neither from family nor friends, while others who may have experienced it, never paid attention to it or appreciated it, because they were so attached to their partner. To avoid being possessive and clingy, you need to embrace the love of others, prioritize the love of your family and genuine care for you, so that you do not become too attached to someone and take away their personal space.
Learn to control your emotions.
Another effective way to overcome possessiveness and clinginess is to learn how to control your emotions and love in moderation.
Don’t be too spontaneous in expressing your love. Sometimes you need to slow down a bit. You can easily achieve this by spending more time on other things that add value to your life. That way you don’t have time to be busy with someone you’re in a relationship with all the time.
Mastering this act will help you maintain your sanity. You won’t have to worry unnecessarily about what your partner is doing. You are in control of your emotions and can easily let them go if love remains unrequited.
Stay away from a one-sided relationship.
Often people become so clingy and possessive when they are involved in a one-sided relationship When it is clear that someone is not giving back the energy that you give them, there is a tendency to want to measure up to yours to cover up their shortcomings. This act can lead to clingy behavior. However, this is a very wrong move. One-sided love must be rejected. No matter how possessive you are, you can never get true love and attention from a heart that feels nothing for you.
communicate effectively with your partner.
When things seem like they are not going well in your relationship, instead of being unnecessarily insecure, which can lead to possessiveness and clingy habits, the first thing you should do is communicate with your partner. Address your fears, the situation may not be what you insinuated or assumed. They may be busy or going through bad times. Every relationship and marital problems is best resolved through communication. That way, you can both reach a compromise and strengthen your bond.
Avoid too much dependency.
Clingy behavior and possessiveness can occur as a result of too much dependency. To overcome possessive and clingy behavior, you need to avoid becoming too dependent on your partner.
No matter how happy your relationship is, always work on having a life of its own. Work on your emotions, finances, and other psychological aspects. Invest heavily in yourself before you enter into a relationship so that you can easily adapt to changes when they occur, and also to help you manage your emotions. So many people in toxic relationships can’t leave because they depend on their partner for almost everything, which is a mistake.
love yourself.
Your first expression of love should be on yourself. When there is self-love, there will be self-confidence and high self-esteem.
You don’t need to cling to someone to validate your strength. You can confidently do certain things without depending on your partner. If you have this great quality, he/she will appreciate you more and hold you in high regard.
Choose your circle wisely.
When you are in the right circle of friends, you will see others with more potential, quality and intelligence than your partner. This will help you realize that you have other options and not see your partner as some kind of demigod.
When you interact with other people with exceptional qualities, you will begin to see your partner as a normal human being with flaws, and not as your sole source of happiness.
The goal is to find a balance with your emotions. To achieve that, you need to interact with others and see their good qualities. This will prevent you from putting someone else above yourself by becoming too attached to them.
The right circle of friends will make you see your relationship from a different perspective. Instead of becoming too possessive and clingy, you will be more courageous in rejecting any form of abuse from your significant other.
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